In a harrowing and bizarre turn of events Monday afternoon, Cary’s Town Council was besieged by four as-yet unidentified activists. The fringe group, identifying themselves only as the Suburban Poultrification Alliance, forcefully removed four beloved members of Town Council and immediately called an emergency session of the council.
The aim of this session was to overturn the July 24th decision by the council not to further investigate the possibility of relaxing the town’s ban on backyard poultry. The coerced vote resulted in a unanimous decision by the new council to investigate the measure, and cited the ever-growing poultry enthusiast network website Cary Chickens as evidence of the “overwelming public support” for this drastic measure.
Shortly after the landslide vote, the Cary S.W.A.T. team was able to quickly diffuse the situation without further incident. Speaking on condition of anonymity, one town council seemed to empathize with their captors.
They were rather polite, but seemed to be at their wits end with regards the council’s refusal to act upon the request. I really feel bad for them.
Several town employees were present when the individuals stormed the town hall, and one such witness paints a very different picture.
It was absolute mayhem, they were running around clucking, and flapping their arms like . . . wings . . . One in particular, attacked councilman Frantz from behind . . . and he . . . just kept saying “The only chicken I want to see is on a plate in front of me.” While pecking and scratching at him on the floor.
Another witness stated:
It was horrible. You would think Town Hall would be a safe, secure place. This is Cary!
Charges of aggravated assault and kidnapping are currently pending against the four unidentified individuals. The Cary Police are asking that anyone with information about the suspects step forward immediately.
Security has been heightened within the Town Hall, and the real council members are expected to reconvene next Thursday evening as previously scheduled. No word yet on whether questions and comments on the poultry ban will be heard during this session.
This article is a piece of fiction. No actual members of Town Council were harmed in the making of this article. For real news on the subject, see this piece in the News and Observer.