Nothing beats a night out with the family.
“How do you do it?”
Life as an engaged father and as an architect are, at times, at odds with one another. Balancing a career in this all-encompassing profession with the day to day excitement of a parent doesn’t come easy, but for this #archidad, I wouldn’t have it any other way. (Hence the constant posts referencing #thedadlife.)
My journey as a father started nearly nine years ago, the same year I became a licensed architect, five months earlier in fact. If you haven’t studied for the ARE while bottle feeding a newborn, you’re missing out! A good friend joked back in those days that all our late nights in studio prepared us for being fathers, from a sleep deprivation standpoint anyway.
From changing diapers, cooking meals, dance recitals, you name it: my wife and I share the load. Sometimes that means architecture takes a back seat, and I make it a point, if there’s work to be done after five, it doesn’t start until the kids are all in bed (including blog posting!)
My girls just want to have fun.
We started our family with a girl, and two years later, a second.
The bond my daughters have is like nothing I’ve ever seen. They’re attached at the hip, consoling one another, helping one another, and I firmly believe I’ve learned more from them than I’ll ever teach them.
They’ve had more than their fair share of trauma, and have had to grow up in a lot of ways far too fast, but to see them playing together, you’d never think it. My oldest loves the arts, and has had an eye for systems, symmetry, and balance as far back as I can recall. My second is my own little deconstructivist. She’s been pushing boundaries since before delivery, and has the scars to prove it.
My boy and I are pretty much inseparable.
Two years after my middle child, came the boy.
We’re still learning about resilience form this young man. My son was born just over five years ago, and in that time we’ve nearly lost him four times, spent countless hours in three different ICUs, and gone through a liver transplant. As a father, he’s retaught me the meaning of love and sacrifice, and as an architect he’s taught me to take accessibility personally. With his life, came changes to priorities for the whole family, and big dreams in the field of architecture have, at times, had to be put on hold for real life challenges.
My boy and I have a special bond, we share stories and bed time every night, when we find ourselves as a family in places where the wheelchair won’t go, I carry him. This past fall we had the opportunity to see the Biltmore Estate as a family, and if you’ve ever been, you know roughly half of the house isn’t accessible by wheelchair. For our family, all this meant a lot of father son snuggles, and a few places he and I just don’t get to go, but we strive to let the girls experience as much of life as possible, and shared experiences when we can.
All of that brings us to today, five years later, our fourth child and third daughter is scheduled for arrival this September.
Surprise.
So, to bring it back around full circle I’ll answer the question posed up front: How do I do it? With the help of a really supportive spouse, and a lot of coffee.
So pour yourself another cup, have a Happy Father’s Day, and read what a few of my fellow #archidads had to share on the subject:
Jeremiah Russell, AIA – ROGUE Architecture (@rogue_architect)
Happy Fathers Day #archidads
Eric T. Faulkner – Rock Talk (@wishingrockhome)
The Dad — The Architect
Brian Paletz – The Emerging Architect (@bpaletz)
#Archidad – A modern approach
Rusty Long – Rusty Long, Architect (@rustylong)
Life as an Archidad
Jim Mehaffey – Yeoman Architect (@jamesmehaffey)
Being ArchiDad
Mark Stephens – Mark Stephens Architects (@architectmark)
ArchiDad
Larry Lucas – Lucas Sustainable, PLLC (@LarryLucasArch)
A Daddy Architects Work Life Blur and My Escape
Steve Mouzon – The Original Green Blog (@stevemouzon)
Fathers Day for Architects – The Empty Seat
Jared W. Smith – Architect OWL (@ArchitectOWL)
ArchiDad on Father’s Day
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